It’s been coming. And I’ve been fighting it.
First the stoic, “I can handle it.”
Then, affirmations of “I can do this!” “You are stronger than the obstacles!” “Keep moving!”
Until finally, letting go. Letting God. Letting it all out. The Grief. Anguish. Acceptance of Failure. Acknowledgement of Where. I. Am.
Lost enough to see that I’ve been ignoring the signs. I KNOW these signs. My body’s signals, my soul’s song, my heart’s cries. And, I’ve only been listening to the louder Ego. My mind’s Critical voice drowned out the others. And I didn’t stop to listen for them either. I believed the loud noise. Or turned it off by distractions, Netflix, cooking, cleaning, caring for others.
Well, last night, exhausted, I gave in. Surrendered literally, spiritually, emotionally. I’ll tell you about it, (not in all the gory details, but enough so you get the picture) and also how the prayers were answered with miracles of music, inspiration and a lighter state of Being showed up for me this morning.
All is well. Truly, when I allow it to be, All is well.