It’s the Equinox, and we’re away at our little place on the St. Francis River. The third and final Leadership Development retreat for this cohort finished up a few days ago and I’m able to exhale. Nothing on the agenda for the next few weeks except to catch up on email and other correspondence and get taxes filed.
So, why does it take an empty schedule for me to take a breath? What is it about feeling the spaciousness of the outdoors here in the country that gives me the okay to drop into Center?
A few years back, a dear friend asked me why I couldn’t bring the peace I feel here back with me to the city.
I paused. Because I realized, the issue is not the location I’m in. Or the lack of busyness. Or the feeling of being nourished by all the nature around me and the sacred land with the flowing water in view… after all, my home in the city has lovely garden spaces and a spacious water-filled park I walk through daily!
Maybe that sense of serenity is created by the silence? Or the lack of internet. Or the small cozyness of the space. Or the fact that I can look in almost any direction and see not a soul. Trees, river, and rocks on three sides of me here, out in the country.
Or, is it that this space was desired, planned for, and purchased, specifically as a space of Retreat?
It is seen as a vacation place, a quiet place to get-away; for dreaming, creating, reading, napping, RELAXING?
And, that my home in the city contains my office. My workspace. My to-do list. My tax prep files. Overflowing gardens to clear, closets to clean and laundry to do?
This Learning to Relax thing has been loud in my ears for weeks. “Learn to Relax” whispers the shower. “Learn to Relax” says the wind. “Learn to Relax” says the gurgling coffeemaker. So, I’m listening. At first with curiosity, then recently with more urgency.
I feel the need to turn down the noise, the adrenaline rush, the restless energy that makes me want to eat, get a glass of wine, or another cup of coffee, or want to turn on Netflix…and to finally allow myself to sit with the discomfort. Sit with the distracting cravings, the numbness, or the impulse to go DO something.
My soul is sweetly reminding me, THIS is what you REALLY want, Dear One. Be still. Sit in silence. Watch the birds. Get up and sit with the sunrise. Walk during the sunset to see the sky. Celebrate each new crocus, daffodil, bud on the trees.
It’s okay to relax. You are still valued, precious, amazing, even when you aren’t creating content, coaching clients, spending hours on Zoom, planning for facilitation, reading the news, learning new ways of better delivery of my work….etc.
Dropping in, deliciously, to Center, creates more appreciation, peace, gratitude, healing. And I choose pausing to reflect, relax, renew, rejuvenate and re-wild mySelf.
Oh dear sister, if you relate, let me know! I’m probably not going to respond right away though. I’ll be off walking the Land, dreaming about what to plant and where, and reading a book on the deck…
For a nudge to help you in remembering how to Center into Presence, here’s a link to schedule time with me: https://DeborahLeeAnnConsulting.as.me/30minchat.