Not out there, mind you, it’s wild and woolly and full of VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complexity and Ambiguity) news, and events.
And, maybe it’s the several hours of each week spent on Zoom calls where I can see myself, and how I am showing up when with others, that is making me more aware of how I want to be or not be. More self-conscious. More SEEN.
And, maybe it’s the fact that I can’t hide anymore. My own Authenticity radar is on high alert when I’m out of integrity, off-balance, or when others are operating out of their wholeness and truth.
Or, possibly, and more likely, it’s the felt need to constantly be looking at my phone. What messages have I missed? What’s the latest COVID news? Or, like me, the draw to play a silly game that rewards me for solving a puzzle?
So, spending time with mySelf is on the agenda this month. Yet I’m already finding lots of distractions. Ways to NOT look at me. Ways to run, tune out, or turn away.
My calendar is full of deadlines to meet my Self-Imposed date of heading into Tech Sabbatical as well!
My house here in the City is disrupted with plaster repair, new wiring for dining room lighting, and incomplete projects making my craving for Sacred Space dial-up to palpable energy.
The lovely meal from Thanksgiving is needing some cleanup too…stock from the turkey bones to be made, and lots of squashes and root veggies asking to be made into soups.
So, the more I slow down, breathe slower, feel into Center, into Presence, and into my own body’s power center…I am finding more of everything.
And, how am I finding space and the Grace to be Still? Tune into Stillness? Tune out busyness?
Practicing. Centering. Breathing. Slowing down when I remember. Allowing myself to visit it here and there, in between little rants about messes or full schedules or the physical call to go outside and let it all go.
It’s when we most need it that it feels the most difficult to do. To allow. To receive the blessings that come when we stop or even pause to notice them.
What do you plan to do to complete 2020? This month? The transition of seasons from autumn into winter? (here in the Northern hemisphere that is. For you folks Down Under, as you head into summer?)
This STILLNESS thing is not easy for me, and from what I’m hearing from clients, colleagues and friends, it’s not easy for most.
We are feeling the frenetic anxiety, hearing the high-pitched hum of millions of media sources trying to capture our attention, sensing the collective grief and trauma of a year that has changed us all in unforeseen and previously unimagined ways…breathing in (through our masks) the air of change, uncertainty, fear, anger.
And, it’s easier to stay busy. Stay above the fray by keeping our minds occupied, with work, solving problems, looking for problems, even!
Or, numbing out in exhaustion (doesn’t matter if it’s not physical, could be mental, emotional or spiritual exhaustion) through Netflix, eating, alcohol, drugs, over activity, sleeping, _________. (name your favorite numbing activity here)
I feel like if I stop and sit still, it will all come falling in on me.
And, it may.
Or may not. Maybe, sitting still, letting the grief of Mom’s passing, anger over unfinished projects or lost creativity, sadness of missed opportunities and traditions, or simple discomfort of BEing in the unknown…unfamiliar…flood me. Wash over me. Cleanse, heal, or take me over with emotions. I’m not sure what will happen.
Yet, be still I must. Sitting in it all is a devotional practice I choose over and over now.
It’s one way to hear my Self. That quiet loving voice under all the noise. The stirrings of creative expression. The sighs of desire, or of hope, or of loving compassion. The opportunity to sit in and be held by Divine Light and Grace!
And, rediscover the resilient strength of Me. The beautiful receptive quality of being-ness. The open-hearted feeling of passion and excitement and quickening. The expansiveness of potential, possibility, hope, emerging new ways of Being and Inter-Being.
So here’s to Stillness. For however that looks and feels for you. For following Winter’s guidance as we go inward, go quiet, go dormant and hibernate a bit.
As for me? This month I’m excited as my birthday is also the Winter Solstice, when the days begin to be a bit longer and the pagan celebration of the LIGHT.
For years I woke up my daughters (and any friends they could rustle up for such an outing) to put on their winter layers and armed with a stack of cinnamon-raisin toast and a thermos of coffee and another of hot chocolate, we would head in the darkness of early morning to nearby Cahokia Mounds to climb Monk’s Mound and await the sunrise.
It’s a ritual I have always enjoyed even though the sunrise was hardly ever visible!
This year? Not sure if it will happen, but it will be different, with my daughters not around. Maybe I’ll create a new ritual. At the cabin on the River, maybe!
Please Look for a few gifts coming before the end of the year as well…a self-guided or facilitated Wisdom Walk contemplation, and a Solstice to New Year ritual to guide you into a self-renewal celebration to share in a circle, with a dear friend, or on your own.
Sending virtual hugs of Huge gratitude for each of you and how your Light has connected with mine this past year!
What if Success was as sacred and singular, as each and every one of us? What if there is such a way of being seen And being safe?
Very often there’s a polarity, that we tend to jump in between.
I’m out there I am letting people know who I am and what my message is, and what I’m here to do in the world.
And then there’s the other.
Oh my gosh, what if they see me? What if they know me? What if they don’t like me? I’ll just go back and be invisible…being invisible is very much my story.
And, for many reasons I don’t need to go into here, Invisibility was the safety mechanism that I developed as a child, and it became protocol. It was my routine. It was my pattern and reactive tendency when things got uncomfortable. Whenever I began feeling expansive, and open, and allowing, for love and life and grace to flow through and to me, it felt unnerving. It still feels scary. It feels uncomfortable. And that is where I want to take you today.
We cannot do our greatest work unless we are ready and able and trusting that it’s okay to step out of our comfort zone and speak up and share our light and our truth and our wisdom.
So, which one do you do? Go out anyway, put on the false bravado of I’m doing this because I have to do this because my business coach told me to do this because that’s what the men do or that’s what the successful people, women I know do. And the only way to grow my business is to continue doing this uncomfortable…(fill in the blank): networking, speaking, writing (whether it’s a blog or a book), videos, sharing on Facebook, showing up on LinkedIn. And I don’t believe that has to be the case. I feel that the more that we do and we allow, and we show up in our truth and own our value and worth and brilliance, that’s when we’re seen.
And it doesn’t mean that we have to do 70 posts a week to make sure people remember us. Of course, we want to watch our social media or our digital media numbers, it’s kind of helpful to know where we’re showing up and where our clientele, or potential clientele, might be. But the other piece is very much around, “How do I just show up and trust?” And if that means doing video blogs, which I did for five years, with no one watching, or whether that means I host a zoom call, and maybe only two people show up, does that mean I’m less worthy? Less valuable?
I don’t think so.
I believe that every time we speak our truth, whether it’s to our friends, our family, our clients, or potential clients, when we show up in our aligned and authentic self, we are modeling, who we are in our work in the world. We are our own biggest billboard if you will. And how do we show up with that presence?
Well, that’s a deep one. And that’s where knowing how to blend our doingness and beingness, our feminine and masculine traits, our intellectual and intuitive wisdom, and our emotional and somatic brilliance, all of those things make up our “secret sauce”. Our SuperPower.
So that’s what we’re going to do in the next month as we move into June. We’re going to operate from a place of receptivity and activity, of beingness and doingness, of physical and somatic wisdom, as well as emotional intelligence and spiritual wisdom. All of those forms of who we are, those different versions of us, if we integrate them and align them, that’s when we have a presence.
That’s when people see us. It’s not about having the perfect lipstick color. Believe me, my last video did not have the perfect lipstick color. And it’s not about wearing the right clothes. (We’re all learning that during this time of working from home. Many of us in our sweats or yoga pants.) It’s about grounding in deep trust, centering into our purpose, and our value, and our worth, and dropping down in a way, from our brains – our beautiful, fantastic, and powerful brains. I don’t mean to do them a disservice. However, when we use that as our only guiding sense of direction, we can go way off our path. So dropping down into our heart space and dropping down even lower into our power center in our lower abdomen. connecting on all of those different levels, energetic, physical, divine, emotional.
Then our voice comes through with clarity, with an authority that people can hear, and those who are attracted to what we have to say, are ready to come and reach out. And I’m all about that. I’m all about letting the people make the decision if they’re ready. They might have a niggling fear of I’m not sure I’m ready, and that’s fine too. But they know in their hearts if it’s time to be seen, to be held, to be supported in their inner landscape journey, in their deep dive into their becoming. And that’s, that’s where my passion is. That’s what I have done for myself and numerous others, allowing them to experience transformation from their old self to their new version of self to the next best. And they’re continuing to grow with a little less fear, I might add. So that’s my thoughts for now, and I look forward to spending some more time with you and sharing some more musings in June.
Take excellent care of yourself, now, and as we move forward into these uncertain and ambiguous times.
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Thanks, I’ve got this.
No really, I do!
You see, what YOU think of ME, is none of my business.
I read that book. About 40 years ago, in fact. Here’s a link, if you’re curious.
It had a profound effect on me then, and it still does.
Yet, I forget. I worry about what to write and how to write it and how to show up in what clothes and what people think and the feedback I get (even if it is good!)
How can we get OVER ourselves? Follow our own guidance and trust when it’s time to ask for guidance from others. There is a huge difference.
I’d like to tell you a story about how other’s were concerned about me 10 years ago and how I switched it back and took back my power – and it was magical!
I was divorced, running out of money and networking all over town to find the perfect job that would utilize my talents, give me the flexibility to be Mom to my middle-school-aged daughters and pay me enough for my household expenses as I was not receiving child support.
A dear friend and my mother both shared with me they were concerned (afraid, actually) for me and worried about when I was going to find a job. I assured them both, calmly and assertively, that I wanted only their confidence in me and to imagine me happily working and paying my bills. They both agreed and within the next month or so, not one but TWO contracts for my consulting work were signed!
So, let’s get back IN-to our own self, stop minding others’ business and ask politely that they not get into ours unless invited.
©2018 https://deborahleeann.com Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
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Even though I spoke these words last week, they are as true today as ever.
Where are you playing small?
Where do you lose your value?
When do you dim your light?
It’s time. For us to INHALE the inspiration we are constantly receiving, and EXHALE our creative spin on it. Our voices, art, written words, and dance are needed now.
We are all stepping up. Stepping IN. Stepping forward. Marching together towards change.
Conscious leadership is required of us all. And that means showing up. SHINING brightly. No apologies. No more hiding.
Ready? Let’s do this.
Join me for a free training next week to kick off Self-Love Month. Details can be found on my website, Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn profiles.
© 2018 https://deborahleeann.com
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
Read the Transcript
Let’s Create Some
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I love Magic. Magick. Magik. All forms of it. All stories about it. All songs too!
During the Holiday Season, we talk about the Magic of gift-giving. The Magic of Believing. The Magic of Joy and Miracles and Beauty and Health and Well Wishes.
And, I’m here, saying Magic is a year-round thing.
That’s worth repeating… Magic is a year-round thing.
It’s with us all the time. It’s IN each of us.
So let’s remember to Tune in. Turn on. And, Turn It Up our Magic. It’s in every one of us.
Happy December from us all at DeborahLeeAnn.com and Authentic Leadership Academy and Consulting!
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It’s become so common that no one is surprised anymore. We all just nod our heads in some type of secret solidarity.
Yet, why are we sharing from a place of shame? Or Guilt? Or Embarrassment? Or, even, with a sense of thinking we are responsible, in some awful way?
It’s time to stop the avoiding and clean up the shame, and start healing.
This open door will never swing shut again. More and more sexual assaults, inappropriate behavior, rapes kept under wraps are now seeing the light of day. The media posts new stories daily and we aren’t even bothering to read them. (Or, maybe that’s me, this is not new!)
What if we took this new-found solidarity, commonality across all women of different cultures, colors and class, and used it to fuel our Light?
What would happen if we were sharing with glee something beautiful that happened from sharing and healing to becoming more empowered, conscious and ready to tell our truth?
I’d love to discover what could happen when we realized that this totally inappropriate treatment we’ve all received was just a catalyst for igniting our realization of our value, our worth, our strength?
As we glue together the pieces where we previously thought we were broken, we heal the parts and are even more beautiful, more complex and more resilient.
The term Wabi-Sabi applies here…the Japanese believe in the beauty of impermanence and imperfection. When a piece of art or pottery is broken, they often fill the cracks with gold. Creating a more beautiful piece and honoring the imperfection.
Let’s shift into this type of #MEtoo. Let’s shift into the beauty of what we are now from the healing, growing and expansion into a more stunning piece of art? What if we shined our light through those cracks?
© 2017 Deborah LeeAnn www.DeborahLeeAnn.com
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting