After months of diving deep into all of my emotions and Reactive Tendencies (to use The Leadership Circle language I use in leadership development training), I’m ready to feel into what I want. What I’m allowing myself to dream, feel into, bring forth.
Sound selfish? Or out of touch with these chaotic and uncertain times? Or, what does it bring up in you?
Most people’s answer to my question of how they’re doing right now is, “I’m grateful, truly I am.” “There’s so much good in my life.”
And that’s great. To be happy where you are is wonderful.
To feel stagnant, or just “OK” with where you are, or feeling restless; like I do when I’m hungry and keep looking around for something to satisfy that feeling and nothing is quite meeting the need… That means I am, and possibly you are too, ready for something MORE. Yes, we can be grateful for where we are and what we have AND still want something MORE.
Our mind wants desperately to find a plan, to run from what’s uncomfortable, or to deny what we are simply tolerating, versus our Heart – which wants Beauty, Love, to run towards Joy or something that feels good, lights us up, makes it sing!
So, after deepening into and feeling what is truly in my space (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) I can then find the acceptance of “Yes, that is what is.”
After pausing there, and really f e e l i n g, we can listen for, or find energy, that rises within.
It’s our heart’s calling. Our body or soul guiding us towards what is next. What do we want, given we are here right now?
This is essential work for any of us on the front lines right now.
The more we feel we don’t have time or energy to devote to finding our heart’s desire or inner guidance, the more we need to practice this inner work. To move towards our next expansion, expression, or growth, it requires an openness to allowing what the Universe wants for us.
The more we can receive. And it begins with the beautiful Desire bubbling up like a wellspring within. Then “await what the stars will bring.”
Our heart is our own tuning fork or unique GPS that can invite divine inspiration, creative expression, or deep healing. Our businesses require us to be open to this channel. Our physical health does too. Artists rely on it to bring forth their heart’s desire onto paper or stage, or through images.
So, when’s the last time you sat and had a cup of tea with your Heart’s Desire? All that’s required is someplace to be still, listening to nature or inspirational music, and maybe a journal or your phone to record what you discover.
Discovering our heart’s desire is more important now than ever.
Let’s do this.
Here’s to developing the muscle to listen to and follow your Desire and see where It takes you!
What if Success was as sacred and singular, as each and every one of us? What if there is such a way of being seen And being safe?
Very often there’s a polarity, that we tend to jump in between.
I’m out there I am letting people know who I am and what my message is, and what I’m here to do in the world.
And then there’s the other.
Oh my gosh, what if they see me? What if they know me? What if they don’t like me? I’ll just go back and be invisible…being invisible is very much my story.
And, for many reasons I don’t need to go into here, Invisibility was the safety mechanism that I developed as a child, and it became protocol. It was my routine. It was my pattern and reactive tendency when things got uncomfortable. Whenever I began feeling expansive, and open, and allowing, for love and life and grace to flow through and to me, it felt unnerving. It still feels scary. It feels uncomfortable. And that is where I want to take you today.
We cannot do our greatest work unless we are ready and able and trusting that it’s okay to step out of our comfort zone and speak up and share our light and our truth and our wisdom.
So, which one do you do? Go out anyway, put on the false bravado of I’m doing this because I have to do this because my business coach told me to do this because that’s what the men do or that’s what the successful people, women I know do. And the only way to grow my business is to continue doing this uncomfortable…(fill in the blank): networking, speaking, writing (whether it’s a blog or a book), videos, sharing on Facebook, showing up on LinkedIn. And I don’t believe that has to be the case. I feel that the more that we do and we allow, and we show up in our truth and own our value and worth and brilliance, that’s when we’re seen.
And it doesn’t mean that we have to do 70 posts a week to make sure people remember us. Of course, we want to watch our social media or our digital media numbers, it’s kind of helpful to know where we’re showing up and where our clientele, or potential clientele, might be. But the other piece is very much around, “How do I just show up and trust?” And if that means doing video blogs, which I did for five years, with no one watching, or whether that means I host a zoom call, and maybe only two people show up, does that mean I’m less worthy? Less valuable?
I don’t think so.
I believe that every time we speak our truth, whether it’s to our friends, our family, our clients, or potential clients, when we show up in our aligned and authentic self, we are modeling, who we are in our work in the world. We are our own biggest billboard if you will. And how do we show up with that presence?
Well, that’s a deep one. And that’s where knowing how to blend our doingness and beingness, our feminine and masculine traits, our intellectual and intuitive wisdom, and our emotional and somatic brilliance, all of those things make up our “secret sauce”. Our SuperPower.
So that’s what we’re going to do in the next month as we move into June. We’re going to operate from a place of receptivity and activity, of beingness and doingness, of physical and somatic wisdom, as well as emotional intelligence and spiritual wisdom. All of those forms of who we are, those different versions of us, if we integrate them and align them, that’s when we have a presence.
That’s when people see us. It’s not about having the perfect lipstick color. Believe me, my last video did not have the perfect lipstick color. And it’s not about wearing the right clothes. (We’re all learning that during this time of working from home. Many of us in our sweats or yoga pants.) It’s about grounding in deep trust, centering into our purpose, and our value, and our worth, and dropping down in a way, from our brains – our beautiful, fantastic, and powerful brains. I don’t mean to do them a disservice. However, when we use that as our only guiding sense of direction, we can go way off our path. So dropping down into our heart space and dropping down even lower into our power center in our lower abdomen. connecting on all of those different levels, energetic, physical, divine, emotional.
Then our voice comes through with clarity, with an authority that people can hear, and those who are attracted to what we have to say, are ready to come and reach out. And I’m all about that. I’m all about letting the people make the decision if they’re ready. They might have a niggling fear of I’m not sure I’m ready, and that’s fine too. But they know in their hearts if it’s time to be seen, to be held, to be supported in their inner landscape journey, in their deep dive into their becoming. And that’s, that’s where my passion is. That’s what I have done for myself and numerous others, allowing them to experience transformation from their old self to their new version of self to the next best. And they’re continuing to grow with a little less fear, I might add. So that’s my thoughts for now, and I look forward to spending some more time with you and sharing some more musings in June.
Take excellent care of yourself, now, and as we move forward into these uncertain and ambiguous times.
Receptivity, or as I like to call it, the Art of Receiving, is not just a surrendering into stillness, it’s often more active than that.
Out of the Feminine Traits of Receptivity, Creating, Nurturing, Connecting, Circular Thinking, and Being in Flow, I find Receiving the most difficult for me.
Receiving (or Allowing), requires opening. Softening. Allowing in the light, love, life that is flowing in and through us. Not fighting it. So often we are at war with reality.
We tend to operate with some level of constriction, resistance, or withholding. This keeps us out of the flow of Life, Grace, and what I call Magic.
Also, what have we learned about holding on? When tightly grabbing or squeezing anything, Love, control, children, or pets, our actions work exactly in the opposite of what we are wanting…more love.
Where I play the game is often in pushing away or demanding from Life, or Source, or my relationships. Even with my work and money.
This ineffective practice also requires much more effort!
If there is one thing I’ve learned about feminine energy, is that it is
e f f o r t l e s s…
it flows constantly, like water.
When we find ourselves striving, pushing, forcing, it’s typically an indicator of time to take a break. Breathe, dance, sip on tea, or walk outside to clear the head and allow a softer and more intuitive answer to come. One that’s easier to implement, involves less effort.
Receiving has a place that is overlooked in our fast-paced, fast-moving, fast-thinking world. We can’t operate our bodies and minds without eating and eliminating. Even more essential, is our breath. Exhaling would be impossible if we didn’t receive a breath first.
And this beautiful reminder of Receiving is at the core of Feminine energy. We need to receive the life force to create anything. The idea or concept of change often comes from asking and receiving the guidance or answer.
This morning I noticed that it’s truly difficult for me to Receive without some type of laying the groundwork. That’s not always the case, yet it helps for the channel to be clear and the connection to be free of static.
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When my old van finally told me it was time for her to retire recently, I took my time looking for a new car. Ever realize how many options there are out there? Narrowing down my choice based on what I wanted to feel like, what I wanted it to look like, how efficient the gas mileage and reliability helped (thank you Consumer Reports!). Yet, there was still the choice decision of what the car’s image said about me…or what I wanted it to say about me.
Our presence speaks volumes about us before we even say a word. How are you showing up?
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Just like the budding spring flowers and trees, I’m beginning to awaken. Stepping into a new season today, on the Spring Equinox feels like moving into balance…letting go of the old stuff, growing in new ways and feeling more sunlight shining on my face.
It takes courage to be with it all. Being both our brightest light-filled Selves and the deep, dark shadowy Selves. It takes courage to shine a light on the stuff we don’t like looking at, want to turn away from, don’t want to acknowledge about ourself. Yet, it’s precisely by looking at it and lovingly accepting those parts that’s being called for.
Courage, at its root, has to do with the heart. And, sometimes we need others to lean on, hold us, remind us, love us through these dark days. So, muster up some courage and ask for help. Ask for someone to listen or just be there so you can cry and be witnessed. Strength, freedom, the exhale of relief is just on the other side.
Be gentle. We need you. ALL of you. Your fullness/wholeness/integrated Self to be at the table, speaking up, sharing your truth.
Read the transcript here.
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Thanks, I’ve got this.
No really, I do!
You see, what YOU think of ME, is none of my business.
I read that book. About 40 years ago, in fact. Here’s a link, if you’re curious.
It had a profound effect on me then, and it still does.
Yet, I forget. I worry about what to write and how to write it and how to show up in what clothes and what people think and the feedback I get (even if it is good!)
How can we get OVER ourselves? Follow our own guidance and trust when it’s time to ask for guidance from others. There is a huge difference.
I’d like to tell you a story about how other’s were concerned about me 10 years ago and how I switched it back and took back my power – and it was magical!
I was divorced, running out of money and networking all over town to find the perfect job that would utilize my talents, give me the flexibility to be Mom to my middle-school-aged daughters and pay me enough for my household expenses as I was not receiving child support.
A dear friend and my mother both shared with me they were concerned (afraid, actually) for me and worried about when I was going to find a job. I assured them both, calmly and assertively, that I wanted only their confidence in me and to imagine me happily working and paying my bills. They both agreed and within the next month or so, not one but TWO contracts for my consulting work were signed!
So, let’s get back IN-to our own self, stop minding others’ business and ask politely that they not get into ours unless invited.
©2018 https://deborahleeann.com Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting