What if Success was as sacred and singular, as each and every one of us? What if there is such a way of being seen And being safe?
Very often there’s a polarity, that we tend to jump in between.
I’m out there I am letting people know who I am and what my message is, and what I’m here to do in the world.
And then there’s the other.
Oh my gosh, what if they see me? What if they know me? What if they don’t like me? I’ll just go back and be invisible…being invisible is very much my story.
And, for many reasons I don’t need to go into here, Invisibility was the safety mechanism that I developed as a child, and it became protocol. It was my routine. It was my pattern and reactive tendency when things got uncomfortable. Whenever I began feeling expansive, and open, and allowing, for love and life and grace to flow through and to me, it felt unnerving. It still feels scary. It feels uncomfortable. And that is where I want to take you today.
We cannot do our greatest work unless we are ready and able and trusting that it’s okay to step out of our comfort zone and speak up and share our light and our truth and our wisdom.
So, which one do you do? Go out anyway, put on the false bravado of I’m doing this because I have to do this because my business coach told me to do this because that’s what the men do or that’s what the successful people, women I know do. And the only way to grow my business is to continue doing this uncomfortable…(fill in the blank): networking, speaking, writing (whether it’s a blog or a book), videos, sharing on Facebook, showing up on LinkedIn. And I don’t believe that has to be the case. I feel that the more that we do and we allow, and we show up in our truth and own our value and worth and brilliance, that’s when we’re seen.
And it doesn’t mean that we have to do 70 posts a week to make sure people remember us. Of course, we want to watch our social media or our digital media numbers, it’s kind of helpful to know where we’re showing up and where our clientele, or potential clientele, might be. But the other piece is very much around, “How do I just show up and trust?” And if that means doing video blogs, which I did for five years, with no one watching, or whether that means I host a zoom call, and maybe only two people show up, does that mean I’m less worthy? Less valuable?
I don’t think so.
I believe that every time we speak our truth, whether it’s to our friends, our family, our clients, or potential clients, when we show up in our aligned and authentic self, we are modeling, who we are in our work in the world. We are our own biggest billboard if you will. And how do we show up with that presence?
Well, that’s a deep one. And that’s where knowing how to blend our doingness and beingness, our feminine and masculine traits, our intellectual and intuitive wisdom, and our emotional and somatic brilliance, all of those things make up our “secret sauce”. Our SuperPower.
So that’s what we’re going to do in the next month as we move into June. We’re going to operate from a place of receptivity and activity, of beingness and doingness, of physical and somatic wisdom, as well as emotional intelligence and spiritual wisdom. All of those forms of who we are, those different versions of us, if we integrate them and align them, that’s when we have a presence.
That’s when people see us. It’s not about having the perfect lipstick color. Believe me, my last video did not have the perfect lipstick color. And it’s not about wearing the right clothes. (We’re all learning that during this time of working from home. Many of us in our sweats or yoga pants.) It’s about grounding in deep trust, centering into our purpose, and our value, and our worth, and dropping down in a way, from our brains – our beautiful, fantastic, and powerful brains. I don’t mean to do them a disservice. However, when we use that as our only guiding sense of direction, we can go way off our path. So dropping down into our heart space and dropping down even lower into our power center in our lower abdomen. connecting on all of those different levels, energetic, physical, divine, emotional.
Then our voice comes through with clarity, with an authority that people can hear, and those who are attracted to what we have to say, are ready to come and reach out. And I’m all about that. I’m all about letting the people make the decision if they’re ready. They might have a niggling fear of I’m not sure I’m ready, and that’s fine too. But they know in their hearts if it’s time to be seen, to be held, to be supported in their inner landscape journey, in their deep dive into their becoming. And that’s, that’s where my passion is. That’s what I have done for myself and numerous others, allowing them to experience transformation from their old self to their new version of self to the next best. And they’re continuing to grow with a little less fear, I might add. So that’s my thoughts for now, and I look forward to spending some more time with you and sharing some more musings in June.
Take excellent care of yourself, now, and as we move forward into these uncertain and ambiguous times.
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I’m a gardener. A cook. A traveler. A spiritual guide. A paradigm-shifter. A conscious connector and conversationalist.
Like many of us, it’s difficult to say I’m anything else besides a mother, an entrepreneur, a leadership trainer. We tend to limit ourSelves to our job title or what our role is at home. Like many of us, it’s been a learning opportunity to say I’m anything else besides a mother, an entrepreneur, a leadership trainer.
For years, I was governed (and took comfort) in having a job description. A job title. A business card that stated my role and who I worked for.
There’s security in that. In having a written out instruction and policy manual, a clear printed out Roles and Responsibilities, along with who I worked for, worked with, and how to measure my performance.
In only a few years after leaving the corporate world, I was yearning for that same structure. It was long gone, in my marriage and role as mother and wife.
No one gave me accolades or bonuses on bringing up a profit margin or how many clients were served compared to last year’s same quarter.
And it continued to become more ambiguous as I navigated my way through a rocky marriage, parenting our daughters and finding my peer group of older moms to socialize with. My other friends from work were NOT stay-at-home moms. They didn’t understand my angst at not knowing how I was doing. Not having that consistent feedback from my VP or clients meant I had to start figuring out my own progress. Measure my own performance.
That wasn’t easy for me as I listened to the regular negative commentary from my then spouse.
It’s been a journey of self-discovery to undo that messaging in my mind, heart, body, and spirit.
Over 10 years later, I’m continuing to rewire and rewrite or completely self-author who I am. How I’m doing and how I’m feeling. I get to hear feedback from others and ask myself, “Is that true?” “Does it even apply to me or my experience?” Or “Is that their story showing up through my actions or their own reactions to me?”
It’s been a great decade. As I continue to unfold, blossom and show up, just like the new wildflowers, perennials, biannuals, and weeds in my garden, I see that there are a divine beauty and wild mystery to the timing of things.
Let’s see where this unfolds today as we dive into Self-Authoring. Learning about who we are as we are being reflected back by others, our gardens, the Universe.
[Read the transcript.]
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Just like the budding spring flowers and trees, I’m beginning to awaken. Stepping into a new season today, on the Spring Equinox feels like moving into balance…letting go of the old stuff, growing in new ways and feeling more sunlight shining on my face.
It takes courage to be with it all. Being both our brightest light-filled Selves and the deep, dark shadowy Selves. It takes courage to shine a light on the stuff we don’t like looking at, want to turn away from, don’t want to acknowledge about ourself. Yet, it’s precisely by looking at it and lovingly accepting those parts that’s being called for.
Courage, at its root, has to do with the heart. And, sometimes we need others to lean on, hold us, remind us, love us through these dark days. So, muster up some courage and ask for help. Ask for someone to listen or just be there so you can cry and be witnessed. Strength, freedom, the exhale of relief is just on the other side.
Be gentle. We need you. ALL of you. Your fullness/wholeness/integrated Self to be at the table, speaking up, sharing your truth.
Read the transcript here.
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Is religion at the foundation of Values and Integrity? Can you be a values-based Leader and be nonreligious? Listen in to my musings and experiences with this emotional and contentious subject. As always, I welcome your questions, comments and views. AND, I ask that you share with compassion and respect.
Read the transcript here: https://deborahleeann.com/integrity_values_religion_transcription/
Authentic Leadership Academy and Consulting
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Thanks, I’ve got this.
No really, I do!
You see, what YOU think of ME, is none of my business.
I read that book. About 40 years ago, in fact. Here’s a link, if you’re curious.
It had a profound effect on me then, and it still does.
Yet, I forget. I worry about what to write and how to write it and how to show up in what clothes and what people think and the feedback I get (even if it is good!)
How can we get OVER ourselves? Follow our own guidance and trust when it’s time to ask for guidance from others. There is a huge difference.
I’d like to tell you a story about how other’s were concerned about me 10 years ago and how I switched it back and took back my power – and it was magical!
I was divorced, running out of money and networking all over town to find the perfect job that would utilize my talents, give me the flexibility to be Mom to my middle-school-aged daughters and pay me enough for my household expenses as I was not receiving child support.
A dear friend and my mother both shared with me they were concerned (afraid, actually) for me and worried about when I was going to find a job. I assured them both, calmly and assertively, that I wanted only their confidence in me and to imagine me happily working and paying my bills. They both agreed and within the next month or so, not one but TWO contracts for my consulting work were signed!
So, let’s get back IN-to our own self, stop minding others’ business and ask politely that they not get into ours unless invited.
©2018 https://deborahleeann.com Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
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It’s become so common that no one is surprised anymore. We all just nod our heads in some type of secret solidarity.
Yet, why are we sharing from a place of shame? Or Guilt? Or Embarrassment? Or, even, with a sense of thinking we are responsible, in some awful way?
It’s time to stop the avoiding and clean up the shame, and start healing.
This open door will never swing shut again. More and more sexual assaults, inappropriate behavior, rapes kept under wraps are now seeing the light of day. The media posts new stories daily and we aren’t even bothering to read them. (Or, maybe that’s me, this is not new!)
What if we took this new-found solidarity, commonality across all women of different cultures, colors and class, and used it to fuel our Light?
What would happen if we were sharing with glee something beautiful that happened from sharing and healing to becoming more empowered, conscious and ready to tell our truth?
I’d love to discover what could happen when we realized that this totally inappropriate treatment we’ve all received was just a catalyst for igniting our realization of our value, our worth, our strength?
As we glue together the pieces where we previously thought we were broken, we heal the parts and are even more beautiful, more complex and more resilient.
The term Wabi-Sabi applies here…the Japanese believe in the beauty of impermanence and imperfection. When a piece of art or pottery is broken, they often fill the cracks with gold. Creating a more beautiful piece and honoring the imperfection.
Let’s shift into this type of #MEtoo. Let’s shift into the beauty of what we are now from the healing, growing and expansion into a more stunning piece of art? What if we shined our light through those cracks?
© 2017 Deborah LeeAnn www.DeborahLeeAnn.com
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting