Sacred Anger

Feeling too much? Like your nerve endings are on the outside of your body and the slightest sensation or incoming news can ignite or trigger or send you into an emotional spiral?

I am with you.

One client recently called it feeling the “collective rawness.” Yes, collective internally and as a global society.. 

And with no break since March, it’s been quite an onslaught. 

The chronic news of Black people being killed by the hands of law enforcement (over and over) is one thing. Add the pandemic and all of its societal changes and fears and mixed news from science and conspiracy theories, another. Add to that the political craziness and hate-mongering and divisiveness AND the continual destructive storms, wildfires, hurricanes, and tornadoes, and we are tired. 

Cognitive exhaustion, physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, and even spiritual exhaustion are all real.

Our lives are not the same as before March of this year, and we wonder when, if ever, we will resume something that feels “normal.” Our minds are searching for some way to “solve” these problems or our hearts want someone else to “save” us from this mess.

Steven Covey wrote years ago in the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, that it is never a good idea to try to teach or learn when we are tired or emotionally upset. 

Guess what? Most of us are both. 

And, I’m here to say that Anger is our invitation to create, innovate, move us out of the stuckness and towards what’s emerging. It’s a doorway. How?

Anger has gotten a bad rap. Especially for women. We aren’t shown, for the most part,  models of what it looks like to be an angry woman, on purpose, who is still loving and guided by Spirit.

That’s because we haven’t had many. Neither Mother Theresa, who bore her pain silently and alone, or feminists who came across as anti-men and angry. Not the working mother who is worried about her children while taking care of her community and planet and Self (not in that order) while holding down a job. Not women who have chosen not to have children (for their own reasons, because they have a choice) while marching or actively supporting Earth, Gender and Sexual Equality, Racial Justice and healthcare access for our marginalized citizens, nor for those who quietly go about their day-to-day, signing petitions, learning about their role in racism, finding ways to discuss and grow as conscious individuals while making a difference in their own circles by choosing Love over discrimination or hate.

So many ways to be activists. Even by choosing the food we eat, and how we spend our money. 

AND, it starts by being Angry. Allowing the fire in the belly to be stronger than the fear of staying silent, standing by, or choosing the status quo for comfort’s sake.

Anger is the beginning of a spiral of emotions and truly helps us become innovators and creators and impactful leaders (and activists). 

Years ago, a wise teacher and friend helped me learn about my emotions in this way. Begin by choosing a specific issue that is troubling, that you hate, or that made you angry.

Allow yourself to feel the emotion, speak out loud about it, write it, dance it. 

It tends to fade after some focused attention.

Below is something different. Sadness, grief, or fear. Each could come in their own wave.

By asking ”What about this makes me feel sad?” we can get deeper. Feeling the sadness, the grief may be, and letting it be expressed (again through writing, dancing, speaking/crying out loud) allows it to be expressed, felt, and transformed.

Next is probably fear. “What am I afraid of?” Asking over and over till you start feeling the fear, start knowing its source, and focusing on it, even for a few minutes. Sharing out loud to a trusted friend, who is only observing with compassion, not speaking at all, can be cathartic. Letting it out through words, written or prayed, screamed, or softly whispered brings light to the shadow and gets some space around it.

“What do I want/need?” is next. What do I really want to change this? What do I need? It may be that you want the political divisiveness to end, but stay with what’s under your control. What is it that I want to feel instead of this? Expressing it through dance, writing, drawing, imagining then sharing it in some way with the Universe/God/Source is very beneficial.

Then we get to Forgiveness. What can I forgive myself or another for? Again, expressing it orally, through another format is your choice, but put it OUT THERE.

Appreciation/Gratitude is what follows. Express it. To yourself first, then to another if need be and you are called to.

Last is LOVE. It’s the natural progression of following our emotions down to their Source. Our essence is LOVE and when we fall away, step too far from it, feel disconnected, the other emotions are there to help guide us HOME. 

Let’s not fear Anger. It’s sacred and needed. The more we try NOT to be angry, the more we can make ourselves sick. It’s like trying to imagine we can shake a can of soda or sparkling water and then open it and it won’t make a mess. The anger WILL explode one way or another unless we guide it back Home. Back to Love. 

Want a safe space to do this process? I’m here.

Authentic Anger

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…

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Authentic anger, especially for women, looks very different than a lot of we’ve been seeing, or what we’ve been taught, or what . AND, It’s true that women have a millennia or two worth of of actions and historical events and current events to be angry about.

I am and the perfect example. It was the first emotion available in my palette that allowed me to really feel and to tap into what was mine. My truth. My Authenticity. My Essence.

For that reason I think once opened to it, women tend use it as it as a weapon. As way of showing how strong and powerful we are.

A woman’s anger (picture the power of mother Earth’s storms!) is a lashing out, a destructive force. It’s a force you can’t deny. And, it’s often quick and swift. It’s a balancing of energy. It’s about standing strong in our essence, in our conviction and passion, declaring our truth.

It’s not a lot of words. It’s not a lot about the hurting of another. It’s not making the other pay or share in what’s our’s. It’s not about making a point by tearing down the other’s ego – be it physically, emotionally, spiritually.

It’s sad that we have not learned the teachings of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi around nonviolent conflict, peaceful protesting and working together TOWARDS an end, versus FIGHTING AGAINST the other. There’s a way of making a point with clarity and courageous conviction, sometimes even more so without words.

This reminds me of the Compassionate Samurai. A samurai warrior is trained in all of the martial arts and trains his body to be strong and powerful and also to open his heart. Open his/her mind in a way of serving for all. It’s it’s about dropping our ego, standing tall for the collective.

This is where a woman’s anger can be very affective. When we are fighting for our child or for the rights of all women, or a beloved, we do so in a forward thinking type of way. We want to create change that leads us towards where. We. Want. To. Go. (versus fighting back at what has happened)

This has to be a changed in our mindset. We can change our belief system to learn that what has happened has been the catalyst that turned on this emotion and power and sharpens our senses, and from there, discern how we will move or take action or respond in a way that generates momentum to build what we want.

Join me as we transform our Authentic Anger into the energy that spurs us as compassionate leaders, heard and seen as powerful, strategic, grounded and leading towards change.